You met him, you liked him, he seemed to really — really – like you, and all of a sudden he announces, “Look, just so you know, I’m not looking for a relationship.” This is hardly a problem if you’re not looking for a relationship. But if you do, try this: Tell the guy the truth, as in, “I’m really sorry to hear that because I really like you, and I enjoy being with you. But thank you for letting me know how you feel. I understand, and I respect you for being honest.”

At this point, thank him for the evening and make an exit (whether you politely ask him to drive you home, take the subway, take a cab, whatever — think Grace Kelly or Audrey Hepburn and leave with dignity. Manage a little smile and go). He may ask you to stay. Say no thank you and stick to the plan. You’ve told him you really like him, so you won’t have to worry that you didn’t put that across. You probably surprised him. You did not make a scene. Stay away and let him come to you.

And, instead of carrying on and trying to convince him that you belong together, you respected his feelings and let him go. You did not make a scene. You did not beg him to see things differently. You did not do some of the things he may have expected you to do. You probably surprised him. You also gave him (needed) space to see things clearly. It’s entirely possible that he will realize that you actually are the woman for him. Take heart.

Stay away and let him come to you. If he does, proceed with caution. Guard your heart. You’re not a yo-yo. It’s also entirely possible that the man will move on. You will not hear from him. If so, congratulate yourself for having the good fortune not to have wasted any more time on this individual. He was not for you, didn’t “get” you, and did not share your goals. Now you’re free to make yourself available to a man who does. Take heart. He’s out there. You did not make a scene.